HARSH?!?! DOES THAT SAY HARSH?
That’s right sissy! These aren’t your sisters "smooth and easy" rolling papers! These Papers will tear your throat up faster that trying to swallow a rabid mongoose! China may have invented paper but they sure didn’t invent cigarette paper!  These papers are truly awful especially when compared to the nice Spanish stuff.

UNEVEN BURN? That sounds fantastic!
Boy are you in for a treat if you like an uneven burn! These papers burn so uneven their nicknamed the "Rubix Cube" of rolling papers! It’s like a fun challenge with every smoke! 

Whats with the nifty red X behind the "Made out of 100% pure hemp. 100% Flax?
While other Chinese papers will lie to you and say “made out of hemp” when they are made from wood, we prefer to be honest.  Besides, real men smoke rolling papers made from wood and maybe some cat. Can you just imagine the savory flavors that come from a delectable blend wood and cat? It’s a variable plethora of goodness for your taste buds!  Hey at least we’re honest!

How much are these sweet puppies going to run me since I can't live without them?
If you’re talking dollars then let me break down what a deal this is for you! They’re as low as $0.20 PER PACK! (but in typical ‘got-ya’ style you have to buy 10,000 packs for that price).  But if you got the money for it then you can have these sweet papers as soon as we feel like shipping them out.  PS – if you want we can promise to ship them in 1 week but it’ll honestly take us a couple months.  Maybe we can try and trick you and say “prepay” and then invest your prepayment in the stock market, then if we win some money we’ll be sure to make your papers straight away!

Gotta Have them now! How do I contact you?
Call HBI at 800 420 4372 and we will get you started with your order! 

PS: while we really did make these papers to poke fun at some of the ridiculous Chinese “fake hemp” rolling papers in the market, whenever you do call us we have to be serious and forthright with you about everything.  HBI is a very reputable long established company, we apologize in advance to anyone and everyone we offended with these spoof rolling papers.